Scatter Snarks

R.I.P. Marcel Marceau

2007-09-25T14:01:00.000-04:00

Top Ten George W. Bush Comments on Marcel Marceau’s Passing

#10: “Marcel Marceau Dead? No wonder I hadn’t heard much from him lately”…
# 9: “The family said he passed away quietly.”
# 8: “A great voice in the entertainment industry has been quieted.”
# 7: “When I told Laura she was speechless!”
# 6: “You know, he did a killer version of “Sounds of Silence”
# 5: “Do you think he had a phone in his house?”
# 4: “I heard he felt quite at home on the range.”
# 3: “A good American – never one to voice dissention about my administration”…
# 2: “A nice man…he had a quiet way about him”…
# 1: “If a mime dies in the forest and falls down with no one

around to hear it does he make a sound?”

"The Betray Us Flap:" The Democrats Always Listen To Their Generals

2007-09-16T11:40:00.000-04:00

As displayed herewith in:

General John Singlaub - In 1977, while John Singlaub was chief of staff of U.S. forces in South Korea, he publicly criticized President Jimmy Carter's decision to withdraw some U.S. troops from the Korean peninsula. On March 21, 1977, Carter relieved him of duty for overstepping his bounds and failing to respect the President's authority as Commander-in-Chief." source: WIKIPEDIA.ORG

General Douglas MacArthur - General of the Army Douglas MacArthur HonGCB[1](January 26, 1880 – April 5, 1964), was an American general and Field Marshal of the Philippine Army. He was a Chief of Staff of the United States Army during the 1930s and later played a prominent role in the Pacific theater of World War II, receiving the Medal of Honor. He was designated to command the invasion of Japan in November 1945, and when that was no longer necessary he officially accepted their surrender on September 2, 1945.
MacArthur oversaw the occupation of Japan from 1945 to 1951 and is credited for implementing far-ranging democratic changes. He led the United Nations Command forces defending South Korea in 1950–1951 against North Korea's invasion. MacArthur was removed from command by President Harry S Truman in April 1951 for insubordination relating to his failure to follow presidential directives.
He is credited with the military dictum, "In war, there is no substitute for victory." MacArthur fought in three major wars (World War I, World War II, Korean War) and was one of only five men ever to rise to the rank of General of the Army. source: WIKIPEDIA.ORG

And as to Hillary Clinton's "willing suspenion of disbelief", the only response has to be - When Bill finally ‘fessed up about his affair with Monica Lewinsky, Hillary said in "Living History" this made her 'feel like she been punched in the stomach.'

98 Years and Counting - The Long Sad Journey of The Cubbies and Their Fans

2007-03-22T11:35:00.000-04:00

Nice weather is just around the corner!

The baseball season has moved into its "full speed ahead" phase as players are rounding into shape and getting ready the days of summer and a "for real pennant race."

And the question this year - as for nearly 100 years - can the Cubs win the World Series?

See a multimedia presentation on the Cubs and their last agonizing century of futility at www.CTBaseballJournal.com!

Click on the downloads then CubbiesEssay.pps and click open when the download box appears, then click Read Only when the password box opens.

Enjoy. Or....suffer if you are a Cub Fan!

A Letter To Rosa DeLauro

2007-02-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Ms. DeLauro:

This week’s “non-binding resolution” is not the most insipid, spineless and useless endeavor ever enacted by Congress, but it will do until something more despicable comes along.

To say that this nonsensical and blatant political maneuvering of trying to eat one’s cake and have it too is sickening, demeaning of Congress and an affront to the American people is too polite. It is in a word – or at least should be – unconscionable.

That Congress engages in such craven political grandstanding while American men and women are dying in Iraq, Afghanistan and in the war on terror defiles the institution and contradicts the term leadership.

As a veteran of Viet Nam and someone who has questioned – and continues to question - the war in Iraq from its onset I find no solace in the political gamesmanship and triviality of “Bush lied, people died meme”. I am even less sanguine with the “I did not know that voting to give the President this authority he would screw it up so badly.”

We live in a world that is often fraught with unintended and unforeseen consequences. To now blame the President for such poor foresight while blithely trying to ditch your lack of vision seems dubious at best.

Nor do I find a blind obedience to party loyalty or a President - “stay the course” if you will - a righteous path. Congress has by constitutional fiat the rights that they could have – and should have – instituted during this period of the Iraq war to determine its efficacy and progress. To deny and try that is to be disingenuous and patently ridiculous. Especially in light of Congress’ eternal ability to deliver pork laden earmarks in each and every spending bill that comes down the pike.

Mr. Bush, his administration, the military leaders and the Congress all have been part and parcel to the last four years. There is blame enough for all. And it is time for all to work together on serious solutions and bring out troops home as soon as humanly possible and to preserve, defend and protect the Constitution as they have sworn to do. Something that will not be accomplished by commentary, political rhetoric or passing “non-binding resolutions.”

Sincerely,

A most disillusioned and disgruntled constituent

Too Long A Time Coming

2007-02-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

The Chicago White Sox scratched an eighty-eight year itch two years ago by beating the Houston Astros 4 games to none to capture their first World Championship 1917.
Now if only the “new” other team in Chicago - the Cubbies - could conclude their nearly 100 year quest for all the baseball marbles would everything be copasetic in the universe.
Before 2005 the White Sox lost the World Series the last 2 times they played in it. The first loss being the infamous Black Sox series of 1919, the second was in 1959 was to the Los Angles Dodgers - two years removed from being relocated out of Ebbets Field and Brooklyn.
John Kennedy was not yet president the last time the Sox were in World Series… baseball enthusiast Fidel Castro was just assuming power in Cuba and Jack Paar was still hosting the tonight show when the Sox last played a World Series game. Heck the LA Angeles of Anaheim that Chicago had to beat to get to the World Series were two years away from their inaugural baseball game! Chicago manager Ozzie Guillen – 41 years old - wasn’t even born when the Sox were last in the series before 2005. You get the picture.
So, now the White Sox and their fans can savor this Pennant and perhaps even stop apologizing for the 1919 incident with Shoeless Joe Jackson and the "Black Sox Scandal”.
Unfortunately for Cub fans now have the monkey – monkey hell, it’s King Kong -on their backs. Prior to 2005 and the White Sox win, the Cubs were the baseball team in Chicago notwithstanding the futility of their own losing ways.
It was understandable after all the Cubs had gone longer since winning a World Series, never were involved in throwing a Series and bringing shame to the City. Perhaps it was because they played in historic, legendary and endearing Wrigley Field. And besides how can any one root against the Cubs and the adorable bear cub uniform emblem.
Whatever the reasoning, all of that has now gone by the wayside. The Cubs are now a team who last won a World Series when Roosevelt was President. No, not Franklin… Theodore. A team who last won a World Series before the Titanic sank, before World War 1 even started, before Geronimo went to his happy hunting ground!
Hey the Chicago won the series only once during the 20th century – heck even Haley’s Comet orbited the earth twice in the same time period. If George Steinbrenner owned this team his head would have exploded sometime around 1965… hmm I guess there is a silver lining to every dark cloud.
Go Cubs?!

John F. Kerry Has Memory Problems Or He's A Liar

2007-02-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

My money is on him being a liar!

This laughable excuse for a a Senator spoke on the Senate floor (among other venues) about a "seared memory" - not a vague recollection, or somewhat of a hint - but a "seared memory" of sitting on a "Cambodian river" on Christmas Eve 1968 while "President Nixon was telling America there were no American troops there."

Several "OOPS..." are required to be noted here:

First and foremost unless Christmas Eve in 1968 was moved to sometime after January 20 1969, Richard Nixon couldn't have been President; Lyndon Johnson was. Either that or we had two Presidents at the same time. Tricky Dickie indeed!!

Even given Kerry a pass on who was president, there is the troubling recollection (I'm not sure they are "seared recollections") of his superior officers and crew members of his boat that this just didn't happen.

Kerry reluctantly proffers he must have had a "confused" "seared memory" (confusing I know). Or is it just nuanced?! Lest you think I'm being too partisan and tough on poor Ketchup Boy, his own diaries contradict his "seared memory" placing him 50 miles away from Cambodia in Sa Dec, wait for it....Viet Nam.

But then again is Christmas can move from December to January in order to make Nixon president, or if the Constitution can allow co-presidents - after all a seared memory is a serious thing - moving a mere 50 miles at a moments notice is a mere bag of shells!

Now we have Kerry in Davos Switzerland complaining that America has become sort of a "international pariah." Obviously aiming his criticism at the Bush administration Kerry says, "When we walk away from global warming, Kyoto, when we are irresponsibly slow in moving toward AIDS in Africa, when we don't advance and live up to our own rhetoric and standards, we set a terrible message of duplicity and hypocrisy."

Again, Kerry's memory is faulty here. He forgets that it was President Clinton (again confusion with whom was president when) who refused to send the Koyoto Protocol to the Senate for ratification. The Senate voted anyway - 95 to 0 - opposing any international agreement in which China, India and other developing countries would be exempted. Senator Kerry was one of the 95 opposition votes. Again, perhaps it is just nuance to deep for the average American to understand.

My mother used to say - "if you're going to lie, you better have a good memory." Obviously advice Ketchup Boy never got from his mother.

Biden's At Stereotyping Again!!

2007-01-31T11:45:00.001-05:00

Absolutely the best example of "open mouth, insert foot" disease is
Delaware's gift to comedy and the U.S. Senate - gas bag Joe Biden - is at it again.

Here is an item - courtesy of Hugh Hewitt and Mary Katherine Ham - of Biden's inability to shut down his mouth and let his brain takeover:

Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Biden Said Whaaaat???
Posted by: Mary Katharine Ham at 10:35 AM
Hugh posted this, but I'm repeating it because it bears repeating. Biden on Obama:

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,”

A clean black man? The first black guy on the American political scene who can both shower regularly and speak properly? Is that really what Biden thinks?
If a Republican had said this, we'd have a national outpouring of grief over the residual ignorance and racial insensitivity in our country, and the guy would be in sensitivity training until round about the time John Kerry is elected president.
Biden, I'm sure, will pay no consequences for his boneheaded comment.

Sadly, Mary Katherine may be right here. Biden will probably pay no price for this outrageous comment - be it intentional or just his standard foot in mouth disease. Just like it was over looked by the MSM when he made his ill-advised comments about not going into a Delaware "7-11 without a slight Indian accent" last year. Whether he gets a pass because of his maddening loquaciousness, propensity for daft stupidity or because his views match those of his brethren in the media.

Sad, just sad....

Top Ten Reasons For Kerry's Tears

2007-01-25T11:03:00.000-05:00

10. He found out his twin brother Lurch had died.

9. Teresa cut his allowance.

8. Overcome by the way the press is treating Paula Abdul lately.

7. "Seared memory" of President Nixon sending him into Cambodia in '68.

6. Three little words: Falling Ketchup Sales!

5. Beat out "Plugs" Biden in Biggest Senate Windbag contest.

4. Lost his lucky campaign hat in weekly Senate poker game.

3. He reported for White House duty in 2004 and was turned away.

2. As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say "he's a girlie man!"

1. Finished behind Dennis Kucinich in Democrat Presidential Poll!

Where Is The Courage In The Senate

2007-01-24T18:22:00.000-05:00

It is said that the Senate is the "greatest deliberative body in the world." In the vernacular of today: NOT!!

It more resembles the "greatest collection of invertebrates assembled within one chamber."

Today the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted 12-9 (in what Reuters called a bi-partisan approval) to send a resolution to the full Senate alerting President Bush to the Senate's opposition to the proposed surge of U.S. troops to Iraq.

Despite Reuters assertion to the contrary the vote was fairly partisan in that 11 Democrats voted against the measure with one Republican, Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, joining them and 10 Republicans voting against the resolution. Perhaps Reuters vision of bi-partisanship was enhanced by the specter of Richard Lugar and George Voinovich voting no but straddling the fence by citing their refusal to adopt the measure because it was political in nature (Voinovich) and might send the message we are divided and in disarray (Lugar). If this ain't disarray, I don't know what is!

Troops and serious Americans can take heart in knowing that as bad things can get in the Senate, the pompous bloviators can provide a great deal of humor, even if unintentionlly. Take Chuck Hagel. The empty headed Nebraskan said he was voting for the resolution because the Bush administration was playing ping-pong with "American lives." Why play a table game when you can play a good old political parlor game as Chucky is. The heck with the troops, deliberation and seriousness when sound bites are needed because his job is on the line.

He then said that each of the 100 Senators should have to vote on the tough issues facing them - with non-binding resolutions to show they're up to the task. Hagel said if they could face the tough issues thy should get a safe job, like selling shoes.

This from a man Reuters says is a "presidential possibility". My question to Reuters is; on what planet.

Though, Senators selling shoes is an excellent suggestion for Nebraska voters in Hagels next reelection bid. Vote on a binding resolution to allow Chucky to sell shoes.

more to come....

Separated At Birth-Executive Branch Edition

2007-01-15T18:55:00.000-05:00

Dubya and His Brain

Top Ten Possible Reasons For Bush's Tears

2007-01-14T21:58:00.001-05:00

10. Pelosi stomped on his foot with stiletto heels - purposely

9. Reaction to moving piano recital of "Feelings" by Condi Rice

8. Hated firing that Rumsfeld guy

7. Hurt himself trying to pronounce Nouri al-Malaki

6. Cheney forgot his shotgun at White House meeting with Democrats

5. Barack Obama rejected nickname Osama, 'Bama Mamma

4. Four little words - His Approval Ratings

3. Heard Dad's changing name to George Herbert Walker Clinton

2. Really bummed out over Trump/Rosie Feud

1. Even Laura and Barney are against the surge!!

Senatorial Match Up

2007-01-14T19:36:00.000-05:00

Proof positive that Teddy Kennedy is twice the Senator Barack Obama is!

Separated At Birth-Congressional Edition, Vol. V

2007-01-14T19:15:00.000-05:00

San Fran Nancy Pelosi and Gollum

Separated At Birth-Congressional Edition, Vol. IV

2007-01-14T13:47:00.000-05:00

Another day, more photos:

Kan. Senator Pat Roberts and American Gothic's Farmer

Separated At Birth-Congressional Edition, Vol. III

2007-01-13T15:52:00.000-05:00

Massachusetts Wind-Surfer John Kerry and Lurch

Funny thing is they're both Butlers for weird women!

Separated At Birth-Congressional Edition, Vol II

2007-01-13T14:05:00.001-05:00

California's Senator Barbara Boxer and Sonic The Hedgehog

Rumor has it Sonic is suing Babs for trademark infringement!!

Separated At Birth - Congressional Edition

2007-01-13T13:01:00.000-05:00

Mississippi's Trent Lott and Our Boy Frankie!

Both scare the townspeople and little children!

Democrat Leadership In The U.S. Senate

2007-01-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

Not that Brownback, Lott, Hagel, Gordon Smith or Lindsey Graham are anything to write home to mother about!!

As William Shatner Once Wisely Said - Get a Life!!!

2007-01-12T20:44:00.000-05:00

This man is Way...Way...Out There!! He's Congressman David Wu (D-OR).

Check it out on YouTube if you haven't already seen this....

"THERE ARE KLINGONS IN THE WHITE HOUSE" CONGRESSMAN DAVID WU

It's okay though, I guess. He's on the the House of Representatives Space Subcommittee.

We're Saved: Barney Frank to tackle "Income Equality"

2007-01-11T15:06:00.000-05:00

Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., thinks we have to address income equality . The new chairman of the House Financial Services Committee vowed to tackle the growing, festering problem of "income inequality," "government doesn't have to interfere with the free enterprise system," says Frank, "but we can work along with it to reduce inequality (Original Article).

Commentator Larry Elder asks, as to income equality " ...what exactly is the appropriate gap? How wide should it be? Presumably Mr. Frank possesses the divine wisdom to know when the gap is jus-s-s-st right."

Yeah, that's the ticket!

Barney Frank is who we should be turning to to insure the U.S. enters the "Nirvana" of income equality. Why should we bother with salary surveys, merit raises, promotions based on merit or other such antiquated business financial concepts when we can just eye the "Frank-conian" Income Distribution Chart to see what we should all be paid.

Apparently what has Barney's panties...er shorts bunched up is the golden parachute given deposed CEO Richard Nardelli - a severance package of $210 million. It is understandable that such blatant excess can raise one's hackles. It is quite another to take a leap of logic - and put inordinately misplaced faith - in the ability of Congress in the aggregate or Barney Frank individually to mitigate or completely alleviate such occurrence's in the future.

No thank you to that would be my reply!

What's In The Water In The U.S. Congress and Washington D.C?

2007-01-11T13:34:00.002-05:00

Sam Brownback thinks he's presidential timber, as does Chuck Hegal, as does Dennis Kucinich, as does Chris Dodd, as does Newt Gingrich, as does Mitt Romney....

For cripes sakes do you really believe the U.S population is ready to elect someone named Newt, or Mitt or Chuck president.

Johnny Carson used to do an hilarious routine about how we end up with such mundane if not ridiculous (see Bush, George Herbert Walker and George Dubya) candidates for president.

Johnny, were are ya' when we really need you?

Biden's New Slogan For His Presidential Campaign

2007-01-11T13:30:00.000-05:00

Senator Biden's Campaign announced that Senator Biden did not realize the Army "Be All You Can Be" ad campaign was scrapped. Therefore, his new slogan for running for president will be he wants to be "Strong, Biden Strong"

Flashback: "The Alioto (sic)" Hearing: Teddy Kennedy (Conscience of America)

2007-01-11T12:47:00.000-05:00

Yup, that's right - "Teddy Boy Chappaquiddick" has a dog named Splash (who is the subject of a children's story)

You can't make this stuff up!!

Inspirational Words from the Kennedy Brothers

2007-01-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and success of freedom” – John F. Kennedy 1961

"Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope...." – Robert Kennedy 1966

“Hang on Mary Jo; I’ll be right back with help.” – Ted Kennedy July 17, 1969

Actually, I'm sure that Teddy boy thinks his words about "Iraq being Bush's Viet Nam" in the Puffington Host (see Kennedy) be included here as inspirational words rather than what I've concocted about Chappaquiddick above. Kennedy wants a "new direction" in Iraq - his euphemism for retreating from Iraq by running away from a tough situation. Something he knows a great about (see quote above).

Kennedy's arrogance, pomposity and hubris are beyond the pale even for someone without the excess baggage he - and his family - carries. Check out these quotes from the post:

"Iraq is George Bush's Viet Nam" says Teddy - conveniently hoping people will forget the President who first involved the US in Viet Nam was his brother.
"Never before has our system of checks and balances been so important." conveniently ignoring RFK's authorizing wire taps on Martin Luther King.
"Instead of continued mistakes and shoot-from-the-hip policies, it's time to get this right." conveniently forgetting ...well his life to date!

I could go on, but I believe you get the point...

... And for those who think Chappaquiddick is ancient history and Kennedy must have surely learned his lesson and has been humbled by this experience I submit - Kennedy's Chocolate Labrador Retriever (subject of a children's book no less) is named Splash.

Who says the good folks from Massachusetts have no sense of humor?

2007-01-10T11:08:00.000-05:00

First Neil Kinnock, Now The Army Ad Campaign

2007-01-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

If at First you do get caught, shouldn't you not follow the same path again?

Seems the verbose, hair-plugged Wonder Kid Joe Biden hasn’t learned much in 20 odd years. Despite having his first campaign crash and burn amid allegations of plagiarizing British Labor Party leader Neil Kinnock’s campaign speech, he begins his 2008 closely mimicking, if not resurrecting, the defunct U.S. Army ad campaign with a cloying claim that, “I’m running to be the Best Biden I can be!” To which I say (with apologies to Dana Carvey’s Church Lady) - Isn’t that precious!!

This just goes to show, whether in his default mode – endlessly droning on with no discernable point in sight – or his outlier attempt at brevity and pithiness , Biden’s not an enjoyable listen.
When asked about his foreign policy objectives Biden said, “I’m looking to let Iran be the best Iran it can be , to let Kim il Jong be the best Kim il Jong he can be and Syria be the best Syria it can be.” Asked his policy on Iraq, Biden said, “Iraq is already the best Iraq it can be so we should get our things together and get out of there skidoo!”

Thus Explaining Nancy Pelosi's Election To Congress

2007-01-10T01:14:00.000-05:00

USA Today Reports:

The San Francisco metropolitan area has a higher percentage of people who are regular drug users than any other major metropolitan area in the USA, a study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found.

Do they also have the highest percentage of face lift recipients surprised by their last procedure?!